Tag: elections

Fine Gael Sues Country For Whiplash

FINE GAEL has filed a personal injury claim against the people of Ireland, following injuries sustained when the country took an unexpected turn away from the party during local and European elections. The party, headed by Taoiseach Leo Varadkar, claims that the sudden and forceful move by the electorate towards the Green Party caused severe whiplash… Read more »

Putin Celebrates Landslide 2018 Presidential Election Victory

CELEBRATIONS have begun among the members of the United Russian political party, following current premier Vladimir Putin’s decision to win next year’s presidential elections by a landslide margin. Putin, who has held the position of either president or prime minister of the Russian Federation for over 17 years, made the announcement yesterday that he would… Read more »

Fianna Fáil Reveal Local Election Body Armour For Candidates

With local and European elections taking place on the 23rd of May this year, political advisers to Fianna Fáil are finally seeing their election strategy playing out in public. It is expected by most in the party that the local elections could see positive results. However, they are aware the public still harbours much hatred… Read more »

Election Canvassers Vow To Ignore “No Junk Mail” Stickers

Political canvassers for the upcoming Local and European elections have issued a promise to deliver pamphlets and literature through the letterboxes of every house in Ireland, regardless of “No Junk Mail” stickers. Spokespersons from all parties have issued statements confirming that their door-to-door campaigners can both see the letterplate stickers and have the intellectual capacity to read… Read more »

Politicians Have Just 1 Month To Make Empty Promises To Electorate Before Local & European Elections

Lampposts up and down the country continue to be peppered with Ireland’s leading sycophants and sociopaths as the race for local and European elections really hot up. With just a month until ballots are cast by the electorate politicians are eagerly pounding the pavement and reluctantly talking directly to members of the public. “It is… Read more »