-
Star Wars Imperial March Constantly Playing In Gerry Adams’s Head
“Do you ever get when you just have a tune in your head and you can’t stop from humming it?” ... -
Ming MEP Looks Up Distance Between Amsterdam And Brussels Following Election Victory
VICTORIOUS European elections candidate Luke ‘Ming’ Flanagan was busy planning his future as he is set to take his place ... -
Being In Labour Now Feels Like Actually Being in Labour
SEVERAL Labour Party TDs have been rushed to hospital this morning after reportedly experiencing painful pregnancy-like symptoms. This news follows ... -
Successful Candidates Say Goodbye To Voters For Another Five Years
RECENTLY elected politicians have been winding down their relationship with the outside world today after a successful local election campaign ... -
Maybe They Can Call It The ‘Alan, Jack And Jill Foundation’ Now, Suggests Shatter
FORMER minister for Justice Alan Shatter suggested to members of the Jack and Jill foundation that a name change could ... -
‘Being A Labour Candidate Counts As A Disability’, Claims Lorraine Higgins
EUROPEAN Election candidate Lorraine Higgins, who found herself in hot water online yesterday when a photo of her canvassing van ... -
Varadkar Promises To Meet Shatter For A Pint Sometime
MINISTER for transport Leo Varadkar said he will promise to meet up with ousted Justice Minister Alan Shatter for a ... -
Gerry Adams Makes Formal Complaint To PSNI Over ‘Weak Interrogation Techniques’
SINN Fein president Gerry Adams has made a formal complaint to the Police Service of Northern Ireland (PSNI) over their “weak ... -
Finance Minister Finding Himself Pricing Units Of Water In His Head All The Time
THE MINISTER for Finance Michael Noonan said today that he keeps finding himself pricing units of water in his head ... -
Gilmore’s Stupid Face Becoming Increasingly Unbearable, Claims Labour Party Members
LABOUR party members have called for the leader of their own party, Eamon Gilmore, to resign today, because his stupid ...
