Category: BUSINESS

Everyone To Eventually End Up Working For Tesco By 2034

A NEW study claimed today that everyone living in the UK and Ireland will eventually end up working for supermarket giant Tesco in the next 20 years. After a five year study into economic and global trends, researchers at Oxford university estimate there will be over 250,000 branches of the British-owned multinational grocery in Ireland,… Read more »

Civil Unrest As Price Of Chomp Bars Jump To 30c

The government were last night considering a declaration of Martial Law following the third day of civil unrest sparked by Cadburys decision to increase the price of a Chomp to 30 cent. The 20 percent increase in the cost of the beloved chewy bar lit the fuse on a powder-keg that has been waiting to… Read more »

NASA Hire Irish Travelers To Collect Orbiting Space Debris

AMERICAN SPACE Agency, NASA announced today a $2bn scrappage deal with an Irish Traveler family to collect over 4,000 dormant satellites orbiting the earth. John Anthony Connors from Limerick and his 14 brothers Jamsie, Paddy, Micky, Joseph, Mikey, Peter, Mick, John Paul, Aiden, Steven, Joey, Jamsie and Michael will travel to a special training facility… Read more »

Irish Energy Company Morals Downgraded To ‘Banking’

MORAL RATINGS Agency Dooley’s have downgraded Irish gas supplier Bord Gais to a ‘banking level’ yesterday, after the energy supplier, announced it would yet again increase its cost for fuel by another 1.47%. The price hike, which will come into effect next month, is the second in four weeks, bringing the total rise to 3.67%…. Read more »

Cinema Popcorn Nearing €1,000 A Barrel

IRISH CINEMAS predicted today that the price of popcorn will climb to €1,000 a barrel before the end of the year. Political pressure on Ireland from the EU and the depreciation of the euro have caused a surge in cinema popcorn prices. The ‘specialised popcorn’ has more than doubled in 10 years and has touched… Read more »