Restaurant Association Backs Plans For Double Decker Tables To Make Up For Lost Business

THE RESTAURANT Association of Ireland is keeping the pressure on the government to lift existing restrictions and have taken efforts one step further with a practical solution which is set to revolutionise the pandemic dining experience.

“The government must back our ‘piling tables on top of one another double decker style’ initiative or face the consequences,” said a spokesperson for the RAI, delivering the latest demands from a megaphone while hanging out the side of a helicopter, Bond villain style.

The space conscious proposal will see restaurants able to maximise the number of patrons and sittings in a bid to make up for lost revenue, and comes after the RAI demanded normal operating hours be returned from September onwards.

“Expert analysts from the RAI have confirmed that this is perfectly safe, the air up there is different to the air on the bottom table, it’s basic science,” confirmed the spokesperson before indicating the analysts’ families would be freed once the new measures were embraced by the government.

“I consulted my poorly paid staff who I complain about to anyone who will listen but I’ve ignored them because they are against it, so we can’t wait to roll out the future of dining,” shared one restaurant owner.

Research carried out by the RAI confirms that 110% of the public want the new table settings and a scraping of all existing guidelines.

“Details,” responded the RAI when asked how people are expected to clamber up onto the higher tables or what happens when someone on the top level has a spicy Indian which doesn’t agree with them.