Review: Facebook’s Ray-Ban Stories
ANTI-PRIVACY fanatics have welcomed Facebook’s latest addition to a long list of intrusive products with its Ray-Ban partnership sunglasses called Ray-Ban Stories which lets users of the platform take pictures and record first person video footage without ever having to take out their phones, or let other people know you’re recording them.
In a bid to review the product properly while also giving equal opportunities to ex-cons on probation, WWN hired local voyeur and convicted stalker Mark Rannerty to review the product.
Firstly, before I get into the nitty gritty, let me just say that I am absolutely gutted these glasses didn’t came out sooner – I would have avoided the last 16 months inside and that complete bitch of a neighbour wouldn’t have ever known I was secretly filming her. A little late to the party, Facebook, but I’m really excited that hidden cameras now come under the guise of a reputable sunglasses brand and well-done Ray-Ban for selling out.
Design and hardware
I was a little dubious when I watched Mark Zuckerberg’s promo video for these camera shades as he highlights the fact that a little white light on the frame shines when recording video to let other people know you’re recording, which in my mind, defeats the whole purpose, but then I remembered this was a Facebook product and Mark has a fantastic poker face. To counteract this feature, I bought some blue tac and stuck a very tiny bit over the stupid light. Sorted.
I was also miffed to learn the video only records for 30 seconds, which isn’t great when you want to secretly record a woman with a fine arse walking in front of you for long periods of time but I found the time limit ideal for up skirting when getting on buses and escalators. No one ever suspected the glasses held down low with your hand is even a camera and Facebook and Ray-Ban must be commended for that alone as I captured some arousing moments.
I loved the hands-free option of simply saying ‘Hey Facebook record video’ but found out this is a dead giveaway when I was trying to record this yummy mummy outside Tesco whose cleavage was showing as she bent down to tend her young child. However, the stealthy button on the arm of the glasses is a great way to secretly record people and I had great fun outside the local Presentation school down the road. God, the girls these days love their short uniforms, I’ll give them that.
The name Facebook Stories is a little misleading as any of the footage I caught would never go out on my Instagram or Facebook stories as I’d be back inside again in a heartbeat, but I do like the innocent nature of the name and cloaks what is essentially a pervert’s dream. Maybe they should have called it Facebook Stalkies, but then again, that would give the whole entire game away, much like that time Zuck invented Facebook for rating women in college.
The quality of the imagery is very grainy and terrible in low light scenarios like teenage discos, but the storage space of 500 photos or 4GB is enough to get you extradited to the US for lewd images.
I found the speakers on the glasses very good during calls but found that other people could hear both conversations which is not great when your probation officer is on the other line asking you if you’ve stopped stalking women on the street while you’re literally ghosting behind a young lady on the street, so be aware of that.
All-in-all I found Facebook’s Ray-Ban Stories to be the best product on the market for people who just like to perv in peace without all the criminal charges.
10/10