Factory That Makes ‘Help Wanted’ Signs Also Stuck For Staff


THE staffing crisis affecting Ireland has continued to cause chaos for employers across the country, to the point where even the company making ‘help wanted’ signs for windows have admitted that they cannot grow their workforce enough to meet the new demand.

“All of a sudden, every pub, restaurant, supermarket and retailer needs a sign out the front of their business apologising for the knock-on effects of being short-staffed, and we just can’t cope with it at the minute” said Phillip Hynes, owner of Waterford signage company Sign O’ The Hynes.

“As such, we can’t create enough ‘help/staff wanted’ signs for businesses, which means that there are restaurants, cafes and pubs out there that need staff but have no way of advertising it. It’s a problem that just keeps feeding itself, with no end in sight”.

With some businesses resigned to operating reduced opening hours due to the lack of staff, many people believe that not enough is being done to place the blame on layabouts who have gotten too used to the Pandemic Unemployment Payment scheme.

“You could blame the soaring cost of rent in city centres, which has driven a huge chunk of the workforce out of town. You could blame low wages and poor incentives for working stressful, thankless jobs. But who you should really be blaming, is workshy gits” said a source in the Department Of Employment.

“And we appreciate a lot of people who were left unemployed by us shutting down the hospitality industry for two years had to turn their hand to something new, perhaps use the time to up-skill and find themselves better, more rewarding jobs. But to those people we say, playtime is over. Get back to your station. There are tables to be waited for minimum wage, and you’re the sector of the community we had ear-marked for that work. Don’t go getting notions, now”.