Marketing Exec Who Came Up With Word ‘Spooktacular’ Finally Brought To Justice

“IF I HAD known the damage it would have done… I’d do it all again”: The words of remorseless marketing professional Wayne Cassidy, his cold dead eyes staring out from the witness stand in a packed court.

“Every shitty online sale for weeks before Halloween, every pathetic 2-for-1 past their sell-by-date fizzy drink offerings in the corner shop, they’re all ‘Spooktacular’, all because you couldn’t resist a cute portmanteau and now, we all have to suffer,” shared Judge Colin Finnane as he handed down a lengthy sentence to Cassidy for his advertising crimes.

People had been queuing outside the courts since the early hours in the hope of catching a glimpse of the man many people are calling the most annoying human to ever exist.

“A farm with three bales, one rusty pitchfork and a rotting pumpkin, I was charged €70 for a family pass to that ‘Spooktacular haunted farm experience’ and I blame you,” said one parent during their victim impact statement.

“Do you know how many radio ads I’ve had to listen to that say ‘price reductions so Spooktacular they’ll give you a fright’? I hope you rot in hell,” said another victim.

A separate earlier trial found marketing professional Ellen Courtney not guilty for her coining of the word ‘Creeptacular’ owing to its usefulness in everyday life beyond the Halloween season among women seeking to describe a busy pub or smoking area filled with overeager men.