MOVIE FANS are queuing in their droves for the release of the live-action remake of The Little Mermaid, hoping against hope the Disney produced film provides a conclusive and definitive explanation as to the workings of mermaid anatomy.
“Where is vag?” a comment from Indian YouTube user Arjun Sharma posted below the trailer for the movie summed up the fervent excitement for the film but especially for the promise of information on mermaid muff and moose knuckle.
“Sure ‘Under the Sea’ is a tune but for too long coward screenwriters and authors refuse to tell us how a merwoman can procreate with a human,” said one man queuing for tickets, “and furthermore if they were to sire a child could it potentially have a fish head and human bottom half? Are they wearing a bra made of scales or is that their chests? These are the pressing issues of our time”.
Involving the creative genius of Alan Menken and Lin Manuel Miranda, the movie is perfectly set up to suppress fans expectations.
“I’m just saying if I was an aquatic stud but I had a fish dick I’d be looking at some serious therapy,” added another film buff, eager to feast their eyes on what they presumed would be extensive sex scenes featuring mer-quim on mer-fin action.
“king Triton is clearly packing heat but is it tuna-in-the-microwave scented or sweaty cargo shorts? I’ll riot if they don’t give us the answers”.