Presence Of Substitute Teacher Leads Class To Believe They’ve Finally Broken Mr O’Neill’s Spirit


STUDENTS at Santa Muerte Secondary School in Waterford have come to the logical conclusion that the presence of substitute teacher is proof they have finally broken English teacher Mr O’Neill’s fragile and tender spirit.

Breaking out in an exaggerated, celebratory bout of hooping and hollering, the 2nd year class greeted the substitute teacher with the sort of disruption that clearly proved too much for Mr O’Neill, who according to Snapchats being sent around this very second had overdosed on pure heroin in the principals office.

“I reckon he’s in the loony bin,” one corner of the classroom speculated, wondering if tippexing “O’Neill loves a feel” on their teacher’s car was the last straw.

“D’ya think we went too far with the sustained psychological torture we subjected him to day-in, day-out since first year?” queried another side of the classroom, which was mistaken because this was legendary behaviour.

Wearing the potential mental disintegration of their teacher like it was a World Cup winners medal, all that remained for the students was to quickly identify the weak points in the substitute teacher, who foolishly made the mistake of introducing herself in a calm tone rather than shouting and striking the fear of God into them.

“I’m Miss McGee,” began the substitute teacher, leading the students to question why teachers make this so easy for them.