Inventor Of Hot Desking Buried In Nearest Empty Grave

YOU may not know his name, but during his short life he changed the way we work forever. Amadeus Hott, the man who pioneered the ‘grab any desk you see that’s free’ model of office planning has passed away at the age of 47, and will be laid to rest if there’s an empty grave anywhere nearby at the time.

Hott’s contribution to life, the ‘sit where you like’ system that became known as ‘Hott desking’ (later shortened to ‘hot desking’) stems from a childhood where a place you could call your own was not guaranteed at any time, and the notion of this being ‘your seat’ was deemed a foolish one.

“Amadeus was one of nineteen siblings, so when he was growing up there wasn’t very much space at the family table. He and his brothers and sisters would spend mealtimes seething quietly over who got the best seat, and who got to be beside the person they liked the most. So when he grew up, he wanted to take that energy into the workplace,” said Hott’s wife Elaine, who arrived too late to the chapel this morning to be at the front for her husband’s funeral.

“And we’re carrying on this style of ‘first come, first served’ today. As you can see, although I’m one of the chief mourners, if not the chief mourner, I’m all the way at the back because the front row was taken up with random friends and a few people that I’m not even sure knew Amadeus.

“Similarly, yesterday at the wake, we had hoped to lay him out in the front room but there were too many people there so we ended up waking him in the greenhouse out the back. It’s what he would have wanted, we think”.

When Mr. Hott eventually finds a burial spot that isn’t already occupied by a corpse, he will be laid to rest until such a time as someone else needs it. As such, family and friends have been asked to not bother laying floral tributes or erecting a headstone, as any items left on a grave will be binned by the graveyard cleaners at 6pm every day.