Xi Threatens To Release Trudeau’s TikTok History Over Dispute
AMID rumours that Xi Jinping and Justin Trudeau’s G20 conversation caught on camera centred around Xi’s belief that Trudeau leaked their discussions over Chinese-Canadian relations to the media, fresh threats have been made by the Chinese leader.
Knowing Trudeau wouldn’t fall for the offer a free tour of a Uighur reeducation camp it is believed Xi, in search of retaliation, suggested it would be a shame if the world discovered Trudeau’s full activity on TikTok.
“Of course we have no role in TikTok and absolutely are not collecting data on Western youth in the hopes of one day brainwashing them all on China’s misdeeds and turning them into sleeper agents but it would be really awful Justin if people found out you love to watch women walk on cakes while lip syncing to the words ‘squelch’ and ‘moist’,” Xi allegedly said through a translator in fresh footage from the G20 summit in Indonesia.
Initially laughing it off, Trudeau’s face dropped when Xi pointed out the far more incriminating viewing history of Trudeau obsessively watching duets and stitches centred around Taylor Swift music would also be leaked.
“Watching a well endowed woman jumping on the trampoline while explaining how international supply chain issues are often a smokescreen for businesses upping prices, that people can forgive, but there’s 10,000 hours worth of you watching proposal videos to Ed Sheeran songs,” Xi said, gaining the upperhand in their fraught diplomatic relations.
Xi then informed Trudeau that every release of a detained Chinese spy will be met with the deletion of one data point TikTok has of the Canadian PM.