Schoolkid Finally Released From Kilmainham Gaol After Acting Bollocks On School Trip In 80s

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AS part of a ceremony marking the 100 year anniversary of the first Civil War executions, management at Kilmainham Gaol has agreed to release a number of former schoolchildren who were incarcerated during school tours, including one Waterford man who has been in captivity since 1987.

Michael ‘Micker’ Ganlon was only 9 when he went on a trip with the rest of the pupils from St. Finian Of The Drop Toehold, where staff at the gaol took him aside to ‘imprison’ because of his disruptive ways which included constant back-chat and the mimicking of machine-gun fire at insensitive times.

Ganlon, like all the other schoolkid inmates of Kilmainham, believed that this was just a joke that the staff played on tourists and kids, but little did he know he would spend the next 35 years in a civil war-era cell.

“Young master Ganlon found himself added to the long list of famous and infamous residents of these prison walls,” said the warden of the gaol.

“Anyone who has taken a tour in the last thirty years will have seen him here, behind the bars or working in the yard picking up Whoppa wrappers and things like that. But now we’ve reached the centenary of the civil war executions, we only think it’s fair to pardon him. He’ll leave through the front gates tomorrow wearing the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles t-shirt and shorts that he wore when he first visited, and I can’t see him reoffending any time soon”.

Meanwhile there remains no plan to change the name of the place from ‘Gaol’ to ‘Jail’, as it ‘just sounds gaol-ier’ this way.

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