The US Midterm Elections: Here’s How To Pretend You Know What’s Going On

FINAL campaigning is underway in the United States ahead of the midterm elections tomorrow, leaving many people with very little time to prepare an opinion and appear well-versed and knowledgeable on the matter.

If you’ve left it too late to actually know what’s going on in the elections, don’t worry! You can simply apply the same strategy that carries you through the Superbowl every year, to ensure you don’t miss out on the online discourse!

1) Pick a side 

Fact: you can’t get into an argument if you don’t pick a side. So to get into the midterm mix, you’ll need to decide whether you’re in favour of the the Democrats (President Joe Biden’s lot) or the Republicans (Trump & Co… well, sort of). If it helps you decide, it looks like the Republicans are edging ahead in the polls in some decisive races… you don’t want to be a loser, now do you?

2) Argue

For the love of God, argue your heart out. Get stuck into every thread and debate you fall across online. Yes, you don’t live in America. No, that shouldn’t be an issue. Apply your own worldview and experience to any discussion, no matter how distracting or nonsensical. You don’t have to be right, you just have to be loud.

3) Who cares?

The results of the midterms will have long lasting effects on the American public and fundamental rights, but it probably won’t hinder your life all that much. Sure, the Senate and the House Of Representatives may grind to a shuddering halt, effectively rendering the remainder of President Biden’s term impotent… but what difference does that make to you, at home in Moate? Not much really. Besides, you’ll have moved on to another topic of argument by the time that happens. What’s next? Still Ukraine and Russia, is it? Yeah go on, get stuck in!