“Did You Just Assume My Religion?” Calls To Fine People Who Bless Sneezing


DO YOU bless people after they sneeze? Well, you could soon receive a €500 fine for a first offense and a €1,000 fine thereafter if the left wing woke nutjobs that we just made up for the purpose of this poorly orchestrated article get their demented way.

Assuming a person’s religion is the latest trend we’ve managed to concoct in the hopes you just share this headline without bothering to read it, fueling mass debate online about how Christianity is the latest thing being cancelled and erased by the left-wing mainstream media industrial complex to be replaced with Islamic grooming gangs hell-bent on infiltrating every blonde, white girl on this once pure, pure island of ours.

“People who force their beliefs on other people by blessing their sneezes should be fined, it’s so offensive to assume I even have a religion” is a nice handy quote we’ll say is from a transgender atheist, for maximum effect.

We could be covering other news but our parents company in the UK thinks this shit-stirring helps keep people distracted from growing inequality and we couldn’t agree more.

“You can’t assume people’s faith like that, not in today’s world,” is another anonymous quote we’ll slot into the article’s subheading which should be enough to generate enough apoplexy to get people to lose their tiny little minds over and share.

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