The First Audience Reactions To Michael Flatley’s New Movie
THE MOST ANTICIPATED movie since the medium of film was invented. Finally, Michael Flatley’s magnum opus has hit the screens.
WWN was there to capture the very first audience reactions ahead of ‘Blackbird’ becoming the highest grossing movie of all time:
“I have seen the face of God” – Elaine 55, Dublin.
“I liked how devoted it was to being realistic – especially the part where a 20-year-old wanted to ride the dick off Michael Flatley” – John 48, Carlow.
“I was paid to go to this by Michael Flatley and I still want my money back” – Ronan 33, Waterford.
“Can someone tell me how it ended, I scratched out my eyes about 45 seconds into this” – Grace 28, Wicklow.
“It is the Mona Lisa of steaming piles of shit, the Niagara Falls of piss and I’m only being that kind because Michael Flatley is within hearing distance” – Hannah 29, Clare.
“Michael Flatley is to acting what Harold Shipman was to patient care” – Niall 45, Cork.
“I only turned up outside the cinema so a journalist would ask me what I thought and I could say ‘Flatley my dear, I don’t give a damn'” – Alan 33, Waterford.
“I went to a rare screening that didn’t actually have Michael Flatley in attendance” – Tara 32, Dublin.
“Now this is how you do a James Bond movie. My favourite bit was the henchwoman called Odd Blowjob, who’s special power was blowing on mickeys so hard they fell off” – Leanne 32, Galway.
“It made me resent my mother for giving birth to me setting me on this course that one day I would be forced to watch such an abomination” – Jade 22, Kildare.
“I lord of the danced my way the fuck outta there” – Steve 23, Meath.
“The only thing better than Michael Flatley’s acting was Michael Flatley’s writing, and the only thing better than Michael Flatley’s writing was his imperious direction. How does he do it? The film world is lucky to have him” – Michael 64, Monte Carlo.
“It’s the quietest I’ve seen Gemma O’Doherty in years” – Deborah 39, Louth.
“It’s called ‘Michael Flatley’s new movie’ which suggests he’s made one before, or will make one after. The guards, the FBI, MI5, they can’t let that happen. They’ve got to take him out” – Chris 31, Dublin.