Julian Assange Unfortunately Missed Window Where World Gave A Shit


WIKILEAKS chief Julian Assange is to be extradited to the United States to face charges on something or other, we’re not sure, we used to know but to be honest it’s all gotten a bit complicated at this stage.

Assange had spent many years holed up in the Ecuadorian embassy in London as he battled sexual assault charges which were eventually dropped, before being moved to a British jail for reasons unknown to us as we were on holidays that week.

Similarly, the rest of the world seems resigned to allowing Assange to face whatever comes next as any point in time where they may have cared has long passed by now.

“If I remember correctly, Assange released a load of documents on Wikileaks pointing to corruption and war crimes carried out by the US army in the Middle East but like, that’s a 2010 problem if ever I heard one,” was the word on the streets of Waterford this morning.

“Was he ever cleared of the sexual abuse allegations? He was? No smoke without fire though, so fuck him, send him to jail,” added another person we asked.

“I’d love to care about Mr. Assange and what he’s done to highlight atrocities carried out in the name of ‘freedom’, but to be honest I find him a bid of a weirdo and I’m sick of seeing him on the telly all the time,” was the general consensus from the rest of our interviews.

Assange’s judicial woes continue, unstoppably, from now until the end of time.