“The Irish Are Most Superstitious Idiots Going” Says Curse Bearing Banshee


“THE minute I rock up they’re all immediately panicking and crying screaming ‘oh God which one of my family is going to die’, relax, maybe I’m just popped in for a catch up, bansheeing can be a lonely business like,” confirmed local banshee and terrifying silver-haired hag, Morag.

“I’m known for my wailing and shrieking but good Jaysus the Irish don’t half run around screaming like foghorns, can a person not ask if you’ve a drop milk for tea when I’ve run out without everyone getting hysterical?” added the death realm linked spirit.

While banshees are known for their close association to death, the shrieking siren has often found herself dismayed at how Irish people jump to conclusions and fear the worst.

“Banshees can be multifaceted beings, it’s not all 24/7 portent of doom and death. Sometimes I’m just knocking in to see if I can use your wifi or if you’ve change for the bus. Lads scrapping on a night out? Maybe I’m shouting ‘leave it out’, not consigning you to hell. Talk about being superstitious,” clarified the hag.

“And can I not wail for non-death reasons without you lot losing your shit? Maybe I’m just humming along to a song with me airpods in. What? Am I not allowed to think ‘Blinding Lights’ is a banger?” continued the keening figure on the hill, in an effort to calm Irish people in the event they encounter her.