Local Man Can’t Get Covid For Love Nor Money

WITH the summer holidays quickly approaching and a whole pile of things on his to-do list, Waterford man Seamus Pringle has set out to finally catch coronavirus for the first time.

Pringle, 36, feels he has managed to avoid the infection for the entirety of the pandemic thanks to adequate social distancing, mask-wearing and good hygiene, but has now thrown all of that out the window in a bid to get the damn thing and have done with.

However, despite the nation’s current ‘whatever happens happens’ approach to the pandemic, Mr. Pringle has reported that he simply cannot contract the virus despite his best efforts, including frequent trips to the pub, the use of public transport and near constant face touching after touching a surface used by the general public.

“I just don’t want this hanging over me, heading into the summer. I’ve Electric Picnic, I’ve Malta with the lads, I could just do with getting the antibodies,” sighed Pringle, looking at yet another heartbreaking negative antigen test.

Pringle added that he has no reason to believe that contracting Covid would make him seriously ill or indeed bring on ‘long Covid’, as he doesn’t know anyone who suffered more than a few aches and pains so he’s probably grand.

“Curse my immune system. Everyone I know has had it, so they don’t give a fuck these days. But it’s still hanging over me. Let me know if you know anyone with it, I will eat their fucking handkerchiefs at this stage”.