Scientists Identify ‘Begrudgery Gene’ Unique To Irish People
RESEARCHERS have identified a gene which is omnipresent in and localised solely to the Irish population in one of the most fascinating scientific discoveries of the 21st century.
A TCD research group has identified a gene whose overexpression accelerates the development of spiteful and resentful emotions aimed towards those who seem content, happy and/or successful, proving a decades long hypothesis that Irish people are inherently predisposed to begrudgery.
“Oh you would say you jumped up nerd, I know your father. A milkman. And you think you can tell me I try to take people down a peg or two because I resent other’s success? That’s typical of an arrogant milkman’s daughter. Think you’re better than everyone? What, just because you drive a BMW? It’s not even nice, shite cars,” one member of the public profiled for the study said to lead researcher Dr Gráinne O’Collins.
While genetic and environmental factors affect the severity of the UIBG (unique Irish begrudgery gene), rudimentary research confirmed the science on this is sound.
“We showed people pictures of famous Irish people – 100% negative hit rate. Pics of their neighbours – 100% hit rate, their work colleagues, the children of their friends. But their dopamine levels rose exponentially whenever they remembered a negative fact or anecdote which they felt proved the person wasn’t ‘all that’,” explained Dr O’Collins.
The study’s results have been peer reviewed and heralded by the scientific community, however the majority of Irish people who have seen Dr O’Collins media appearances detailing the breakthrough confirmed ‘she seems a bit up herself’ and ‘probably only in the research for the money’.