“Woah Let’s Not Go Crazy Calling For Every War Criminal To Stand Trial”


AS THE harrowing details of war crimes in Ukraine continue to emerge, the vast majority of people reaffirmed their support for the ICC and holding war criminals to account, something old pals George W. Bush and Tony Blair completely agree with.

“War criminals of every kind must be brought to justice, but obviously I’d encourage you to really think about your definition of ‘war criminal’,” enthused a sweating Bush.

“Honestly, it’s crazy, some people apply this term in a very broad way to any normal person like your post man or your Nana or a former head of state that oversaw a war in which 3% of the population died,” added Bush.

Blair, asking Bush for permission to speak, held a similarly strong view on people being held to account for wanton murder and destruction.

“Just to piggyback, war crimes in Russia need to be prosecuted, but let’s not go crazy with that sentiment – keep justice seeking to this conflict only. This is like when that one person said, ‘I’d like a donut’, but now you can’t move for donut shops – next thing you know it’s Oreo frosted war crime trials with a salted caramel filling for everyone,” added Blair, going off on a tangent.

Bush then carefully noted that he was unsure why WWN was asking him specifically about these things as it was irrelevant due to the US not signing up to the ICC.

“Plus, if you want to talk about being punished for actions, I had a shoe thrown at me once, so if anything, I’ve served my time”.