China Asked Not To Do A Mussolini


CHINA is being asked to take bolstering a madman with ‘one true race’ ideation off the menu and refrain from doing ‘a complete Mussolini’, WWN has confirmed.

“That guy next door may seem fun and cute and that you have lots in common, but it’ll all end in tears,” leading historians and overbearing mothers insisted, hoping to influence China to the extent that Xi Jinping decides not to join a war which risks engulfing all corners of the planet.

Xi Jinping is being asked to reassess his options no matter how tempting it is to open a credit line to a leader currently registering an 8 on the war-crime-committing-despot-o-meter.

“We’d really appreciate if you could refrain from signing high profile treaties that look like they might take up a chapter or 10 in history books and definitely don’t call it anything like the Beijing-Moscow Axis,” geopolitical experts requested, “sure Mussolini had fun, joining in and getting his hands dirty, but do you really want an unhinged Irish woman trying to assassinate you? Ask Mussolini if it that fun”.

Keen to stress to folly of propping up a detached dictator’s imperialist dreams in any possible terms Xi may understand, increasingly desperate experts drew on the first thing that popped into their heads.

“Okay, so you’re basically Jesse Pinkman right now and Vlad is Walter White, sure right now you feel like this is the only option and you’ll make money along the way but… what do you mean you haven’t watched Breaking Bad? Xi, c’mon man, seriously?” one expert, an the end of his tether said despairingly.