Unrelenting Inhumanity, Horror & Evil Of War Boring Local Man At This Stage

WHILE completely acknowledging the ‘nuclear grade dickheaded nature’ of what is about to come out of his mouth, local man Paul Traliure has confirmed it’s time for him to move on from this war in Ukraine business.

“Some would say three weeks is a worryingly brief time for a horrific and still-unfolding war to cease holding my attention, but I’m basically ‘over it’ if I’m perfectly honest,” explained Traliure, displaying the sort of self-centred and dispassionate qualities all his past Tinder dates are familiar with.

Traliure, his empathy receptors effectively fried by a lifetime on the internet, didn’t deny that the firsthand accounts, harrowing footage and incontrovertible evidence of war crimes and indiscriminate murder were bad but insisted he would reduce future consumption of the conflict to memes and that’s it.

“I’ve definitely had my fill and I’d appreciate if TV channels and news apps would just sort of tone it down now and follow suit and I’d ask people online and in person expressing deep upset to stop now as I’ve had enough,” Traliure added, taken aback by the frankly hysterical overreaction to what was a reasonable request.

“I’ve seen enough now to know it’s going on, but can we just move on now, it’s a bit much to be paying attention to it all the time. Just become numb, indifferent and inured like me. Oh and don’t get me started on the heartwarming acts of kindness displayed by people to refugees; it’s all a bit ‘much’, isn’t it?” concluded Traliure, without giving his words a second thought.

If you would like sign Traliure’s petition calling for everyone to just move on sign HERE.