Frantic Search For Remote As TV Threatens Shut Down In 60 Seconds


AS IF waiting for you to be at your most comfortable moment to pounce, the so-called ‘smart’ TV has automatically kicked in its off timer with all the grace of a 1940s atomic bomb, now demanding action or it will turn itself off in 57 seconds, WWN reports.

Unmoved by your settled demeanour and inability to source the one of five separate remote controls scattered around the sitting room, the Samsung TU8300 UHD 4K HDR SMART TV casually counted backwards forcing you to scramble, causing unknown internal damage and mental anguish.

“Okay, I turned the TV on with the Sky remote and God knows where that little bollocks of a remote is,” you recall, now searching on the old reliable mantelpiece before realising that this could be it, this could be the end of this particular spell of television forever, “nope, not down the side of the couch either, the prick,” you now add, haunted by the thoughts of your favourite chair now growing cold in your absence.

Counting down the seconds like some form of cosmic protest, the impromptu message hit the single figure digits as its dark grey box loomed over the sitting room like the Lord of darkness, turning itself off just as you found the right remote.

“Bastard,” you shout, fully aware of the countless minutes now wasted in restarting the TV along with syncing the blasted surround sound system you hooked it up to three years ago, but never really bothered to figure out, before concluding, “I suppose I could go into settings and turn off the standby countdown, but that’s another day’s work”.