WWN’s Christmas TV Guide
GET your red pens at the ready, the WWN Christmas guide is here to help you plot your strategic viewing course through the hell that is the holiday season.
20th December
Ease into Christmas week with a fair-to-middling sized argument with your partner, spouse or family, safe in the knowledge that either RTÉ or Channel 4 will be showing the Father Ted Christmas special to help you all bond together again. If you miss it on the day, don’t worry – RTÉ will be showing it every day until the Feast Of The Epiphany in an attempt to show they have a functioning comedy division.
21st December
Not sure what to watch as the big day approaches? Don’t worry, as Hollywood has done nothing except crank out easily digestible franchises for the last 30 years, meaning there’s always going to be something on that you at least have a passing interest in. Star Wars? Harry Potter? Shrek? Marvel? It may not be the best entrant in the bunch, but it beats talking to your family.
22nd December
As we head closer to Christmas, really get into the spirit by enjoying a festive chat show special that was filmed in August. Expect a host of the biggest stars in the world on Graham Norton’s couch, while back home Ryan Tubridy will be playing host to a radio star and whatever Irish sports star is currently recovering from addiction.
23rd December
In a touching gesture, all TV providers are ceasing transmission on the 23rd in a bid to get families to step away from their TVs and embrace a little bit of old-fashioned Christmas spirit. WWN would like to inform you all that streaming services are available at this time.
24th December
It’s Christmas Eve, and there’s a thousand things for women to be doing in preparation for the big day. As such, the programming on offer is tailored to the men, with plenty of westerns, war movies and horror classics to keep them occupied and out of sight where they can’t cause any trouble.
25th December
The big day is finally here! Settle down for a day of incomprehensible CGI action and noise as the kids of the house grow bored and ask for their tablets, while the older folks fall asleep to the dulcet tones of two Transformers smashing each other up.
26th December
What God would allow a Stephen’s Day to occur without an Indiana Jones or a James Bond on the TV? Providers seem to have really dropped the ball here, so we’re wondering what’s going to happen when everyone is drunk and there’s only repeats of Loose Women on. Buckle up people, this is going to be brutal.