UK Media To Get Around To Reporting State Collusion With Terrorist Group


THE UK MEDIA said it had every intention of getting around to extensively reporting on the £1.5mn payout to the survivors and relatives of the Miami Showband massacre in their case against the Ministry of Defence and the Police Service of Northern Ireland, which all but acknowledges British State collusion with terrorist group the UVF.

“Yeah, it’ll get a brief mention on page 42, we just can’t give the exact date as we’re very busy right now,” explained sections of the UK media, failing to see how reporting on how the RUC facilitated and aided in the planting of a bomb in the band’s van and the execution of three people is news worthy.

“You say a police force helping a terrorist group is somehow news, and a court rubber stamping a payout to victims should prompt wall to wall coverage but honestly, there’s Strictly Come Dancing affair rumours that need reporting,” added one editor.

Current affair shows confirmed the possibility of getting around to mentioning the damages paid out but admitted ‘that seems a job for BBC NI’ as it didn’t seem fair to burden English viewers with the knowledge of the existence of Northern Ireland.

“Suggesting the British state is wrong and very murder adjacent? Pointing out an RUC Special Branch member was basically a UVF serial killer and this was accepted? Haha, no thanks, we’ll run with the scandal of a man disappointed by the size of his mince pies from Sainsburys” mused editors.

UPDATE: The Sun has finally covered the news with its frontpage headline ‘We Support Campaign For The Poppy To Be Worn All Year Round’.