12 Pubs Of Christmas Crowd Struggling To Find 12 Pubs Still In Business

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ORGANISERS of ’12 Pubs Of Christmas’ piss-ups in Irish towns are being advised to plan ahead before setting off on their festive crawls, as most towns, villages and many cities may not have 12 pubs left open for them to visit.

With the hospitality industry hardest hit by the pandemic, people returning to their hometowns for their traditional drinking session with their pals may find that many of their ‘old favourite’ pubs have been closed to make way for derelict sites.

Furthermore, early closing times due to Covid regulations means the usual ’12 pubs’ phenomenon of just settling down in the third pub for the night is being touted as a solution to the problem, as pressing ahead to find another bar could result in disappointment.

“We’ve got the jumpers, we’ve got the light-up santy hats, we’ve got the money to spend and a good dinner inside us to line the stomachs. All we need now is enough pubs to visit” said one Waterford mad bastard we spoke to, who fears that his 8th annual Frosty Boys Night Out will not be as horrifically debauched as usual.

“All our old favourites are closed. The nightclub is closed. We can do the 8 pubs of Christmas, if we count getting a beer with our dinner in the restaurant. Granted we never made it past 5 pubs in our lives, but it was nice to think the option was there”.

Meanwhile the government are certain that the pub industry will survive the latest round of restrictions, and if it doesn’t they can always get the revenue from off-licence sales so it all works out the same.

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