Masks For Schoolkids Just Another Thing To Go Missing At Half Eight In The Morning

GOVERNMENT recommendations that all children aged 9 and over should wear face-masks in class has given parents just one more thing to yell about when everyone is running late, which is marvelous.

Following advice from experts who clearly have no school-aged children, the government implemented the scheme until February at least, meaning it will be in place during a time of year when kids also need to be furnished with hats, gloves, and scarves, all of which adds at least an hour to the morning extraction process, without adding masks on top of it.

“I’m looking forward to arriving at school with my kids with seconds to spare only for one of them to inform me that they’ve left their masks at home. That’s just fucking wonderful,” remarked one parent this morning, possibly sarcastically.

“So you’re telling me there’s going to be vocal anti-mask scourges outside the school every morning, and that’s not even going to be the most stressful part of my day?” added another, while purchasing face-masks for their kids to lose.

“Of course, my kids will be on time with perfect hair, clean clothes and a fresh face-mask every single day,” said the dose Mam of the most annoyingly flawless kids in the area.

Meanwhile, the government are pleased that the new measures will solve the soaring Covid case rates in children without any need to impose school closures, renovate older buildings, install air filters, or spend another penny.