Irish Man Recalls Close Brush With Taliban In ‘Medal Of Honor’

MOVED by the stories of Irish citizens in perilous danger and seeking safe passage home to Ireland from Taliban controlled Afghanistan, local man Brian Dorman found the courage to relay his own harrowing experience at the hands of the Taliban.

“My friends like to play it down, say I was just shite at the game but those Taliban bastards – not being able to finish missions, the flashbacks still haunt me now,” explained Dorman, who has never failed to make situations, no matter how harrowing, revert directly back to him.

“And to watch the scenes unfolding now in 2021, I firmly believe you don’t have to actually have to have been there to be there, if you get me, I’ve experienced it all,” said Dorman, looking haunted.

“I’ve also gained an sight in the Taliban’s mind, how they think, ‘cus in the game you could play as the Taliban until some cry babies made them change that. These are bad dudes, take it from me, I’ve first hand single-player campaign experience,” added Dorman, , who wanted to Department of Foreign Affairs to know they only needed to pick up the phone and call him if they need expert advice.

After recounting in nauseatingly self-centered detail his own gameplaying experience, WWN asked Dorman if these experiences only enhanced the sympathy and compassion he had for those desperately attempting to flee the new regime.

“Jesus no, they need to stay put and stand their ground like I did in all the Call of Duty games too”.

Dorman then turned his attention to the Britney Spears’ ongoing conservatorship stating that he had been grounded once as a teenager and the singer needed to get over herself as it wasn’t that bad.