Biden Withdrawal From Afghanistan Added To List Of Great US Military Victories Alongside Arming Bin Laden


AS THE TALIBAN sets its sights on Kabul amid a near total collapse of order in Afghanistan, US President Joe Biden stated his well sign posted withdrawal from Afghanistan stands tall alongside other great US foreign policy decisions like arming the Afghan Mujahideen in the 1980s from which Osama Bin Laden’s Al-Qaeda emerged.

“Never let it be said that we don’t know how to lay the groundwork for an almighty self-inflicted kick in the testicles,” president Biden said, shortly after seeing the chaos wrought by the Taliban and remarking the Afghan army should ‘fight for their country’. Something, which would be significantly easier to do had the US military not abandoned its bases overnight without warning in recent months.

“Don’t forget arming Saddam, that’s another victory this proudly sits alongside,” offered one US foreign policy amnesia expert.

Afghani women fearing the impending and brutal Taliban rule let out a huge sigh of relief upon learning the US were sending over 3,000 troops to the country as the situation deteriorated.

“Oh no, sorry, we’re just here to help all the US embassy staff to get the fuck out of here before the Taliban takes over,” confirmed US military officials, dressed in ‘brought democracy, left, democracy collapsed and all I got was this t-shirt’ t-shirts.

“You know you’ve done an amazing job when you’re performing a loving tribute to the last choppers out of Saigon,” offered US Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin.

“I can’t see how this will negatively affect us here at home at all in the years to come, great job everyone,” added Biden.

“Yes, it’s a great day for freedom,” he concluded after the press moved on to ask his thoughts on Britney Spears’ father’s decision to step down as conservator.