Guilt Tripping Employees & Coworkers Into Getting The Jab, A Guide

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SO YOU’RE vaccinated and the only side effect is the smug sense of superiority you feel over everyone and anyone expressing an opinion counter to your own. But now some of your younger employees or co-workers are still humming and hawing over getting theirs?

WWN has put together this handy guide to guilt tripping those upstarts into getting the jab, let’s not pause to think if that’s even legal, you have expensive office space to fill:

Purchase a tinfoil hat and leave it at their desk, this is a sure fire way to win them over and dispel their scepticism.

Have your discussions with your employee remained private regarding this matter? Time to let the office gossip know all about it.

Urge them to ‘stop getting their news off Facebook’ when they site a story from the BBC about concerns over the Janssen vaccine in the US. Empathy, patience and understanding will not win them over. Passive aggressive impatience and singling them out is the only way.

They’ve pulled the old ‘underlying condition’ and ‘actually, my GP recommended…’ but that’s exactly the same as the loony anti-maskers.

You’re not sure on the science of it either but getting the jab and declaring yourself a lifesaver, you are now an expert on everything and anyone who disagrees with you is wrong and an absolute mentaler.

Have you posted enough disparaging memes into a group work chat?

And no, you can’t ask a potential new hire if they plan on starting a family but there’s probably no law against you hounding an employee to get the vaccine in group emails everyone is cc’d in, right?

Just repeatedly ask them if they have got the vaccine yet, despite their medical history being legally none of your business. Fuck it, ask them if they do anal too – people’s personal preferences is all fair game.

HR is usually down on you like a tonne of bricks when you say boo to a ghost, but looks like you’ve got free reign here. Do that thing where you hint they might get fired, but not in an obvious way.

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