It’s The JIBOBYKIERU (Jaysus, It’ll Be Over Before You Know Euros Round Up)

WWN SPORT has always upheld the highest standards in its regular Euros round ups. The content is beyond reproach and the staff here at WWN Sport would never dream of doing anything to damage the hard earned reputation this publication enjoys around the world, which is why you’d be really helping me out if you pretended this was a highly engaging recap of whatever the fuck happened last night.

Surely, you’ve been in my position; pints + lads + just the one = I’m super-cala-fragile-extra-stocious-pure-hungover.

So, understandably, last night I watched less football than a remote Amazonian tribe that has had no contact with the outside world. I was more hammered than a nail and now I’m in worse shape than a Picasso self portrait.

Please comment below the piece with variations of ‘what a very good summary of the ball kickings last night’, ‘has the footed ball ever been surmised so well?’, ‘classic football!’ and so on, so that the higher ups suspect no wrong doing on my part.

I’m hanging like a pair of shoes over power lines, I blacked out more times a classified CIA document, more locked than Fort Knox, I’m made of Lego I’m that in bits, please take pity on me.

You’d be doing this normally dedicated and responsible journalist a solid if you comment below and make it appear like this was an engaging piece of content filled with insight directly related to the action yesterday; “I agree X Player was as useless as tits on a bull”, “that decision by the ref was more shocking than a taser to the testicles” and so on.

I’m in a worse state than the HSE here, was more jarred than a pickles factory. If I was anymore banjo’d I’d be the theme tune to Deliverance.