Kilkenny Lads Probably Behind Pride Flag Removal, Insists Waterford

A CONGLOMERATE of Waterford people have issued a joint statement today claiming that two recent acts of criminal damage resulting in the tearing down of Pride flags were more than likely carried out by people from Kilkenny, WWN can confirm.

“They’re always at that craic trying to make us look bad; beating us at hurling, claiming we’re land grabbers, showing off with their fancy booming tourist city which makes Waterford look like a scrap yard, and now tearing down Pride flags to make us look like pricks,” insisted the joint statement, “this is typical Kilkenny-framing, they obviously sneaked in one night when we weren’t looking and did it – they’ll get no luck for it”.

Following the incident, the second such in a week where the flag was taken down and destroyed, Waterford went on to say it doesn’t have any issues with ‘the gays’, proving so by erecting even more flags around the city.

“See? Look at all the superficial solidarity we’re showing. We couldn’t be more inclusive if we tried. We love everyone equally, so we do. More a plutonic love, but it’s love all the same. Not in the biblical sense. It wouldn’t be our kind of thing. But yeah, they’re a great bunch in fairness to them. Happy lot,” the statement reiterated.

The rest of the country has thanked Waterford for providing their county with a chance to tut disapprovingly in the mistaken belief their own superior county is a welcoming utopia of tolerance for all.