Government Celebrate International Nurses Day With Traditional Trolley Crisis


MARKING this International Nurses Day on the 12th of May, the government has sought to help bring healthcare workers back some sense of normality after over a year of leading the fight against Covid-19 by standing idly by as yet another trolley crisis grips the health service.

“I’d say you’re delighted to be back to the just plain old overcrowding which makes it impossible to give patients the care and dignity they deserve, eh?” remarked Minister for Health Stephen Donnelly, praising the nurses across Ireland.

“Jesus we can’t win, we give you this gift of regular overcrowding and suddenly we’re the bad guys who mismanaged resources, bolstered middle management and squandered billions,” added a senior HSE spokesperson.

The government confirmed its admiration and respect for nurses is so strong and passionate that it stopped short at giving them a pay increase.

“Come on now, it’s International Nurses Day not International Mental Decisions Day. Nice try, but at the end of the day aren’t rounds of applause much better than decent pay, safe staffing levels, protection from burnout,” explained one Dept. of Finance official.

Responding to comments made by the Irish Nurses and Midwives Organisation on working conditions the government told WWN “I’ll stop you there, that lot are always fucking moaning”.