UK Thanks Ireland For Sending Prince Philip Funeral Sandwich Spread


THE Queen of England has sent a heartfelt letter of thanks after receiving the loan of the big Burco boiler for Prince Philip’s wake, for the afters of his funeral at the weekend.

“One has to say, you all have been such splendid chaps over this most difficult period, which is particularly delightful to see, especially after the, shall we say, history that our nations share” wrote the Queen, in possible reference to nearly a thousand years of hostility, occupation, subjugation and genocide.

“We were a bit worried that you all were still mad at us for the famines and what not, especially after you cancelled your planned commemoration of the RIC last year. That left us thinking that you were perhaps still sore about us sending over garrisons of trained killers to crush you into obedience. But with these platters of sandwiches, fairy cakes and Madeira biscuits by the barrowful, we know that you’ll always be looking for ways to stay friends with us”.

The Queen’s letter of thanks has silenced those who spoke up against the flying of flags at half-mast on Irish buildings over the weekend, with even the harshest of critics admitting that ‘she’s not so bad after all’.

“In hindsight, yes; we should probably forget about the Troubles and all that, now that we see that the Queen is just a little old woman who lost her husband” admitted one vocal critic of Ireland’s reaction to Philip’s death.

“Perhaps even fly the flags at half-mast for a month? After all, it’s important to stay friends with the people who set us back as a nation by four centuries. You’ll never know when you might need their help”.

Meanwhile a national day of unpaid mourning is to go ahead in Ireland this Friday, to show the British that we really are sorry about Philip, also how are we looking on those spare vaccines?