Biden’s Dog Reminded He’s Only Supposed To Bite Republicans


US PRESIDENT Joe Biden’s German Shepard Major is to undergo an intensive training regime to get him out of his biting habit, or at least to help ensure he bites the right people from now on.

First Dog Major had his chain yanked again this week after helping himself to the hand of a Secret Service agent, and as such has been sent off to an off-site training facility where he will learn that the tastiest humans are those who fly the flag of the GOP, and that Democrats should be left alone at all costs.

“So you may be asking, how do we train a dog to bite only Republicans. Well, it’s easy” said Romea Cesaro, chief dog handler at Major’s training academy.

“We show them mannequins of noted Republicans such as Ted Cruz, Mitch McConnell, the Trump kids and so on. And we let them learn what traits the Republicans have that they can sniff out such as guns, oil and money. Major will be trained to listen out for key phrases, such as ‘thoughts and prayers’, that kind of thing. Lastly, we will put dog treats in the pockets of these mannequins, so that Major learns to sink his teeth into the right people. And while we’re at it, we might train him to bite Hillary Clinton too”.

Meanwhile President Biden is said to be greatly missing his chompy little buddy and has instructed his son Hunter to ‘make himself useful’ and bite any right-leaning politician he sees until Major gets back.