Woman Just Wants To Find Someone Who’d Defend Her The Way Government Defends Varadkar

LOCAL woman Megan Loughlin has once again cursed her bad luck in the dating world but still holds out hope that she can find someone who supports her the way the government is supporting Tánaiste Leo Varadkar through his run in with the law.

“I couldn’t catch a ride in a dildo factory, but I’m an optimist so I look on in envy at how much the government really backs their man, I hope to find a man who’ll treat me the same way,” explained Loughlin.

“You know, love me despite my flaws. Downplay my potential breaking of the law when I leak confidential documents – classic hashtag relationship goals stuff,” added Loughlin.

The source of much envy, members of Fine Gael and the Taoiseach have happily downplayed any sense of wrong doing on the part of Varadkar with some even confessing in their ignorance to thinking breaking the law was only something ‘the poors’ do.

“Imagine that passionate intensity, to feel so safe in their arms,” daydreamed Loughlin.

It is not all plain sailing for Varadkar, despite the unconditional support, with reports the panicked FG leader is currently bingeing Orange Is The New Black and Prison Break in a bid to prepare for a potential stretch in the Joy.

Elsewhere, Sinn Féin were reminded they weren’t so keen on demanding resignations when then leader Gerry Adams was arrested by police investigating the murder of Jean McConville.

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