“These Are The Worst Set Of Oscars Nominations Since Rochus Gliese Was Nominated For ‘Sunrise’ In 1929”

WWN’s preeminent armchair film critic Trevor Nolan rages at what must be the most disappointing, crowd-pleasing, box-ticking set of Oscar nomination since the Rochus Gliese controversy of 1929.

“This day will live in infamy as the day the Academy finally outdid itself and topped the farce that was the 1929 awards. Nominees from movies I’ve never heard of? With hard to pronounce names? It’s like they haven’t learned from the mistakes of 1929.

And critics of this critic will say ‘Trevor doesn’t actually bother to watch any of the movies and has got lost down a rabbit hole of viewing all movie awards, which are meaningless anyway, through the prism of Americanised debates about identity politics’ or that ‘Trevor hasn’t been the same since his wife left him’, or ‘Trevor, are you okay? I’m here if you need to talk’, and to that I say a drama about a middle-aged woman in a van sounds boring.

The parallels with 2021’s nominations are beyond obvious. Really, Gliese’s art direction was superior to that of Harry Oliver and William Cameron Menzies. Laughable! And now, not one but two lady directors nominated?

Self-important, incoherent action movies like Tenet were overlooked in favour of small stories of human existence in the form of Minari, Sound of Metal and Nomadland. What a steaming pile of La La Land this is. We’re a long way from the heady days of having a classic like Crash win Best Picture.

Have these movies even launched any good Leonardo DiCaprio memes? No, what a joke.

Minari didn’t have a single explosion in it! Do you know how many Tenet had? I don’t because there was so many I lost count. And okay, Minari had like one fire in it, but Tenet was the only movie in the last year I could pretend to ‘get’ which made me feel superior to everyone.

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