Weather: Temperatures To Slut Drop This Weekend

MET ÉIREANN has given a nationwide ‘slut drop’ warning with temperatures plummeting so much they will touch their arse off the ground before sensually rising back up early next week in a seducing manner.

“We expect sleet and icy conditions as the weather sticks out its booty and pouts, cocking that sweet ass out, even enticing snow on higher ground due to a gang of cold fronts banging Ireland this weekend” a meteorologist spokesperson told WWN.

The saucy cold snap will edge on dirty conditions by Saturday with the filthy mare bringing in more sleet and snow on Sunday before then arousing the nation with rising hard temperatures on Monday.

“The start of next week will see the sun erecting early Monday morning, with spurts of sunshine throughout the day ejaculating rays of light all over the country by afternoon,” added Met Éireann.

The sudden slut drop in temperatures is believed to be caused by a northerly polar front grinding against warmer vortexes insSouthern regions, but is expected to leave dry humping conditions once it passes on Sunday night.

“We expect it to get down and dirty again towards the latter part of next week with wet, moist conditions likely in all areas, if you know what we mean,” Met Éireann concluded.