Government Warns Nation To Stop Complaining Or There’ll Be No Vaccine For Anyone


THE government has issued a terse warning to the unruly bunch of brats that it quite frankly can’t believe are its citizens, stating that there will be no vaccine for anyone if this carry-on continues.

“This is your last warning” fumed the Taoiseach, at the press conference equivalent of a roadside on the way to the sea.

“I will ring Pfizer and tell them that no, we don’t need that million doses that they’ve promised to send us, they can send it to the kids in Africa who need it over there instead. Did you know Africa is last on the list to receive any sort of vaccination program? And here you are, ungrateful, giving out about petty things such as doctors vaccinating their kids, or the supposedly slow roll-out of our own programme. Ungrateful, that’s what you lot are”.

With some sort of order restored, the Taoiseach turned his attention to the rest of the country’s Covid journey, until he heard some smart-alec down the back mutter something about how Irish GPs were being paid €120 to administer vaccines while UK doctors were receiving about £12 per dose, but the government are still referring to as a ‘good value’ deal.

“Right, that’s it, you can all get Coronavirus, I’m sick of listening to you all harping on. Never happy, you lot are never happy” fumed the Taoiseach, storming off while the Tánaiste explained that the Taoiseach is very grumpy at the minute, he doesn’t really mean it but maybe everyone should just quieten down and stop being bad mannered.

“Also don’t bring up the student nurses pay thing either, he hates being reminded of it” added the Tánaiste, trying his best to remain the ‘good cop’ in this situation.