Church ‘Sorry’ But Not ‘Pay Compensation Sorry’


THE CATHOLIC church has ‘apologised unreservedly’ for its very small, barely significant part in setting up and running Mother and Baby Homes for 70 plus years which proved to be a bottomless pit of immense cruelty and inhumanity down which they gleefully threw 56,000 women.

Experts with previous experience of church apologies in Ireland have confirmed that on closer inspection, ‘sorry’, when used by the church, does not carry with it any real intention of atoning in any way.

“Oh, you naive summer flower, this is your first church apology for a tyrannical reign of abuse and torture, isn’t it?” said one forensic apology expert to those taking the apology on face value.

“When the church ‘unreservedly apologises’, what it means in church speak is ‘we have stonewalled survivors who have been begging us in recent years to hand over records, and we’ll continue to do so, now feck off’.”

“And when they say they ‘accept victims accounts’, that doesn’t mean they won’t drag their heels over paying compensation or redress, and get their solicitors to make it all go at a snail’s pace. You’ll check back in five years to find they haven’t handed over a single penny,” added the expert.

“Oh and when there’s call for inquests into the deaths of children who were, to use the only appropriate term, murdered or starved to death, they’ll slot in a ‘the past is the past’, ‘it was a different time’. Sure, they’re apologising now, but two years ago they were paying PR firms to tell you all there was no mass grave in Tuam”.