Warner Bros. To Release Movies At Same Time In Cinemas, On HBO Max, & On Local Man’s Dodgy Box


IN a landmark move set to shake up the entire motion picture industry, Warner Bros. have announced that they will release their entire 2021 slate of blockbusters in theatres and on streaming service HBO MAX at the same time, and on Waterford man Harry Conway’s laptop about an hour after that.

The move comes as the industry regains its footing in the wake of a year of closed cinemas thanks to the Covid-19 pandemic, which saw several high-profile blockbusters make the switch to streaming services, video on demand outlets, and Conway’s dodgy black box set-up that he got from a lad he works with for forty euro that just plugs right into the back of the telly and usually works, most of the time.

36-year-old Conway is said to be delighted with the news, which would save him hundreds of euro in cinema trips if he actually ever went to the place.

“Yeah I haven’t been to the cinema in years, I download it all. But this deal will mean I get HD copies on the day of release, without having to wait for it to land on Blu-ray and someone upload it” said Conway, who wasn’t even aware that HBO Max was a streaming service at all.

“Plus there’s no Korean subtitles, or indeed it’s not filmed in a cinema by some lad with his phone. I used to hate that! Why do they even have cinemas any more, don’t they know how hard it is to film a movie on a phone with everyone moving around? This is much better”.

Conway will enjoy next year’s movies in full cinema experience, including his dose flatmates talking all the way through everything, and the fleeting notion that he’s sitting in a seat someone pissed in.