Mysterious Monolith Told Its 15 Minutes Are Up


THE sleek silver monolith that vanished as mysteriously as it appeared in the Utah desert last week has reappeared in a dense mountain range in Romania and everyone is impressed, yes, well done who ever is doing this, now could we please move on.

“Oh wow, how interesting, I wonder where it came from and where it will appear next” said an eye-rolling Romanian park ranger, who was having a perfectly good day until this nonsense started.

“A big piece of shiny metal in a place where such metal would not normally be found, oh my word could it be possible that aliens did this or actually d’you know what? Fuck this whole thing, seriously. Whatever it is, nobody cares. So whatever marketing company or student pranksters are at this shit, well done, congratulations, now get this hunk of shite off this mountain before we have you arrested for dumping”.

Whether supernatural or corporate, the monolith has been praised by many for holding the attention of the world for almost a full week, and although its time is ‘almost certainly up’, it did a lot better than this kind of thing normally does according to an expert we spoke to.

“The human tolerance for blatant nonsense is incredibly low” said one viral craze psychologist we spoke to.

“So whoever managed to make the world pay attention to a bit of steel for a week deserves some praise. But don’t move it to a third location. We’re not here for that shit, believe me. We’re done. We’re good”.