Mam Unable To Make Online Comment Without Using The Word ‘Migrants’


CROWBARRING her favourite go-to word phrase into every comment she makes, Sheila Stapleton scoured reports in local and national news in the hopes of sparking up tonight’s online argument about migrants, regardless of whether it relates to the article or not.

“They’ll probably give them all to migrants,” the mother-of-three keyboarded from the comfort of her rural Tipperary home under an article announcing that 35 homes will be built in Sandyford, Dublin.

Stapleton, ignoring the fact her own brother and sister immigrated in the 80s for a better quality of life, now spends her evening sipping wine and trolling in a desperate bid for her opinions to be read, and more importantly arguments to be had with complete strangers.

“That’s more of it now, there was none of this until those bloody migrants started coming in,” she typed under an article she didn’t bother reading titled, ‘Man Stabbed In Dublin’, unaware the people involved were all Irish.

Unphased by her mistake, the 57-year-old took a brief video call from her daughter June who is ‘doing computers in Singapore’.

“I hope there’s no bloody migrants over there – they’re everywhere here,” Stapleton said, beginning what would turn out to be a 30 minute long one-sided argument.