Nation Loses Bid To Have Woulfe Released Into Wild

A GRASS-ROOTS movement to have Supreme Court Judge Seamus Woulfe released into the wilds of the midlands has unfortunately failed, leading to Woulfe possibly spending the rest of his working days in the captivity of a high-paying job, WWN can confirm.

Posts reading ‘get Woulfe out’ had become a common sight on social media in recent months, following the GolfGate scandal which showed the justice was more suited to a life spent in the barren wilderness rather than in opulent surroundings.

“People don’t seem to understand that Justice Woulfe has been living in high society for decades, and although releasing him into the wild may seem like the right thing to do in these circumstances, it’s best for us all if he just stays where he is,” said a government spokesperson today, following the FFFGG coalition’s announcement that they consider the matter closed.

“I know everyone thinks they know what is best for everyone, but if you have a little look through the constitution there you’ll see that the matter is out of our hands. We couldn’t release him if we wanted. You can ask the courts themselves if they want to release, but I have a funny feeling I know what they’ll say – we’re all just so used to having him around the place”.

Meanwhile, although Green Party leader Eamon Ryan had called for the re-introduction of wolves to the wild in Ireland earlier this year, he remained very quiet about this one in particular.