Joe Biden: How He Can Live Up To The Legacy Of Donald Trump
HAVING secured the job of the 46th President Of The United States, Joe Biden must now commit to keeping the world in a state to which it has become accustomed to or risk panic, confusion and madness on the streets according to a new report.
With Donald Trump providing enough news in his one term in office to fill a thousand lifetimes, there’s a real fear that unless Biden exceeds or at least matches the spectre of Trump, the world may slide into madness.
Here’s how ‘Sleepy Joe’ can make sure his presidency has the same impact as the great departed Donald:
Up his Twitter game
At last inspection, Joe Biden had never tweeted out anything using all capitals; not an opinion on a TV show, not an order banning transgender people from military service; nothing.
With the world so used to hourly diatribes hot from the phone of the president, such a vacuum would possibly cause the internet to break really break. Not just get really busy for a while like when Kim Kardashian got her arse out.
With insiders suggesting that 78-year-old Biden only has a phone so that his grandkids have something to play with, this is a problem.
Porn scandals
Biden has yet to come out against allegations that he had an affair with a pornstar and paid her off with a huge hush-money payoff… prompting fears that such a thing may never have taken place.
This leaves the American people, divided as the already are, with one less thing to dispute and rage over for four years. No memes, no ‘mugs of liberal/ conservative tears’, nothing. What is a nation supposed to do without this level of tabloid distraction? Focus on rebuilding? Who wants such a thing?
Immigration
Trump received universal condemnation for putting migrant kids in cages and luckily for the world, here’s somewhere that Biden can match his predecessor without any rocky transfer whatsoever.
As part of the Obama administration that built the cages in the first place, Biden gives the world a glimmer of hope that the next four years will be just as horrible as the four that preceded it, and we’ll all be back squabbling and infighting while nothing gets done; just the way humanity likes it!