Traffic Tailbacks Helping Nation Re-Acclimatise To Normal Life


THE nation has given An Garda Síochána’s Operation Fanacht two very enthusiastic thumbs-up, citing the epic tailbacks on all major routes around the country as a welcome return to the drudge and misery of everyday life.

“I had been very worried about the Coronavirus for months now, so it’s nice to have something even worse to take my mind off it” said one motorist we spoke to at one of the 132 checkpoints nationwide.

“I felt quite left out of the group when I reduced my contacts to an absolute minimum, so being able to have a guard breathe into my face twice a day has put me right back in the gang” beamed another, as the guard ahead of her interacted with their 9,000th motorist that day.

Elsewhere, other facets of Operation Fanacht continued to bring Ireland back to where it was before Covid-19, with measures such as:

– Removing Guards from city streets to instead man checkpoints in the middle of nowhere, thus bringing back the sense of unease and threat when walking through town.

– Reducing the amount of gardaí on hand to tackle drug crime, providing a much-needed boost to the cocaine sales sector which had been hard hit by the lack of nightlife since lockdown.

– Generating some real animosity towards gardaí, especially those who had the audacity to check your tax while asking you if your journey to work was deemed essential at half six on a Monday morning, thus removing that bothersome ‘we’re all in this together’ mentality.

With even more harsh restrictions to follow, Ireland should return to 2019 levels of misery, complaining and traffic chaos.