Government Unsure Why The Big Rush On Securing Sick Pay For Workers During Pandemic


WELCOME news that the government has agreed to look into implementing sick pay reforms was accompanied by the government’s confusion as to why people objected to the can being kicked down the road by at least 6 months.

“Relax, what’s the rush?” one bemused government official innocently asked, “where’s the harm in still going into work with a dry cough or a fever, are we missing something here?”

During Dáil debates on sick pay reform proposals by the Labour Party, some TDs were shocked to learn that not everyone earns €96,000 a year plus expenses, and worse still unlike TDs would actually face the sack if they didn’t turn up for work.

The Dáil was witness to some intense exchanges as Michael Healy Rae ripped his shirt off and ate his flat cap in protest at the prospect of low paid workers in precarious employment receiving sick pay, while Sinn Féin TDs confirmed they would have cured Covid-19 already had the popular vote been honoured.

“Of course, we want to join the other 22 EU countries which offer mandatory sick pay, but seriously why the hurry, is there some pressing reason why sick pay and increased job and health security is needed?” another government official politely asked.

However, before his question could be answered he had to leave to attend a meeting on properly underfunding the HSE’s unpreparedness to tackle the unexpected expected Winter Flu season.

Elsewhere, the positive news on sick pay was balanced out by the government with subtle hints that the Pandemic Unemployment Payments are likely to be cut again ahead of this year’s budget.