Asking Your Polish Friend About The Belarusian Election; A Guide

WANT to know all about the disputed Belarusian election results, the crackdown on the political opponents of Alexander Lukashenko, the cutting off of internet and the subsequent protests?

Many people are turning to local Polish friend Alek Symanski for all the essential details, and while you might fear your Polish friend may tire of your well-intentioned concern and questioning about the Belarusian election, you’d be wrong. With our guide it’s straight forward enough. There are no stupid questions, fire away:

“Why are you asking me, I’m fucking Polish?” Symanski shared, confirming the EU’s continually weak performance when it comes to meaningful action and condemnation of authoritarian regimes on the continent of Europe in recent years.

“This is like me asking you what the weather’s like in New York you eejit,” Symanski said, clearly unable to speak his mind and share all he knows about the elections, such is the grip Lukashenko has on Polish people like Symanski, who’s a bit tetchy right now understandably, so we’ll forgive the anger.

“We have a border with Germany too? You never ask me about Merkel. 20 years of this shit, honestly, ever since I got here – the ignorance,” offered Symanski, probably referring to Lukashenko’s 26 year reign as leader of Belarus.

“How are my family back in Tallinn? Jesus, Mary and Joseph, I dunno how’s supporting France in the rugby? Do you know how stupid you sound right now?” explained Symansky, confirming in some sort of coded language that candidate for Belarusian presidency Svetlana Tikhanovskaya will likely remain in exile indefinitely.

“Remind me, Colin Farrell is English isn’t he?” Symanski added, giving us a heavy indication he’s the sort of closed-minded Polish person who would have likely voted for Lukashenko if he was still back home.