New Housing Minister Sat Down And Told ‘How Things Work Around Here’

AN EXUBERANT and full-of-beans new Minister for Housing Darragh O’Brien has been told to ‘woah up there, pal’ by key players in the housing market, after expressing some nonsense about fixing the rental market and building affordable homes.

“I mean, you have to admire his attitude” smiled one property developer, who hasn’t been investing in Fianna Fáil all this time to see house prices go down instead of up.

“Look at his little face, delighted to be the Minister For Housing so he can show off what he can do; they’re always like that at the start. ‘Oh, I’m going to tackle the unfair rental market blah blah blah’. Listen sunshine. You’ll tackle what we let you tackle. Now let’s have a talk about that co-living idea young Murphy had on the table, he was onto something there”.

Nevertheless, O’Brien spoke about his desire to make significant changes to housing in Ireland, as well as getting as many people out of emergency accommodation as possible.

“Now see Darragh, when you start talking about clearing out hotels full of families and putting them in homes of their own, that’s the kind of thing that gets us very nervous. And you don’t want us to be nervous, do you?” asked one hotel operator from the shadows of an otherwise brightly-lit room.

“Take your time and think about what you’re saying, and how it affects your friends, and your boss’ friends. Don’t go promising anything that we’ll have to have a word with you about, capiche?”