Emotional Scenes As Builders Wolf-Whistle For First Time In Two Months


THERE were emotional scenes in Dublin’s inner city as several women walking to work were greeted with wolf whistles emanating from a building site this morning.

Sticking fingers in his mouth in a bid to make the loudest possible noise, teary eyed builder Martin Phelan cut through the misty morning air with a marvelous rendition of ‘swit swoo’, sending co-workers into impassioned applause to mark the first official wolf-whistle in several weeks.

“I just can’t put it into words,” safety officer on the site Darren Pierce broke down, the emotional moment, forcing him to heg uncontrollably like a young child, “and she even turned around and gave us a dirty look. We all just broke down crying”.

Echoing his call, dozens more builders joined in the chorus, some even wolf-whistling at the men walking to work, proving how much Ireland has changed during the longest lockdown period since the big snow of ’18.

“I decided I was a gay after spending three weeks in lockdown with the missus,” another brave wolf-whistling builder opened up, now also making a masturbation gesture at some worried looking man in a suit in a bid to get his attention, “I think our whole mindset has changed after all of this and I’m just glad to be back to work, doing what I do best, sexually harassing commuters on their way to work”.

Tabloid newspapers reported a huge surge in sales from this morning, while breakfast roll stocks jumped 25 points on the Dublin stock exchange.